某晚睡前，千金Ｂ決定要說螃蟹王國的故事，開頭是有個海邊到處都是螃蟹，他們過著快樂的日子；聽到這裡，千金Ａ開始追問各種設定問題，例如「這些螃蟹需要洗手嗎？」、「他們都去哪裡喝水？」、「他們有朋友嗎？」兩人開心討論，講到睡著前都還在講設定。
聽著她們討論，我想起詩人Shel Silverstein 創作過一首歌：Underwater Land，主題是水底生活，旋律反覆歡快，歌詞頑皮好笑。我想介紹這首歌給她們聽，卻發現在網路上完全找不到歌詞。
我太喜歡這首歌了，於是決定聽打歌詞，順便翻譯成中文；這歌詞不是官方出的版本，如果有錯，敬請指正！
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Out in the middle of the lake, underneath the wavy water 在湖中搖曳的水面之下
there’s a city you’ve never seen 有一個你沒看過的城市
where the stars are starfish and the skies are green 那裡的星星是海星，天空是綠的
and you breathe the water and you drink the air 你呼吸的是水，你喝的是空氣
don’t you think you could be happy there 難道你不覺得你在那邊會很快樂
In underwater land, in underwater land 在水底世界，在水底世界
Just hold your breath and hold my hand 只要屏住呼吸，牽著我的手
we’re going down to underwater land 我們即將要到水底世界去
Feel the minnows nibble, nibble on your nose 感覺小魚輕咬你的鼻子
Feel the crabs tickle, tickle at your toes 感覺螃蟹搔癢你的腳趾
and the seashell house in the golden sand, 還有金沙上的貝殼屋
Just you and the fishes in underwater land 就只有你跟魚在水底世界
And you splash around swimming all day 你到處潑水游泳一整天
there’s underwater games to play 玩水底世界的遊戲 （我知道這裡單複數對不上，可是聽起來真的就是這樣）
and you never have to wash your face and hands 你永遠不必洗臉跟洗手
No one will ever know it if you wet your pants 永遠不會有人知道你尿溼褲子
You can jump on a seahorse for a gallop 你可以跳上海馬馳騁一番
or you can skip a little rope with the scallop 也可以跟扇貝一起跳繩
A cuttlefish will be there to cut your hair 烏賊可以幫你剪頭髮
and you’ll wear underwater underwear 你會穿著水底內衣
You go to school as often as you wish 你想多常去學校就多常去
because the school is just a school of fish 因為學校只是一群魚
(魚的英文量詞是school：a school of fish，烏鴉是murder：a murder of crows，妙吧！)
and you can’t talk, talk, cause they won’t understand 而且你不能說話，因為它們聽不懂
you got to blooooo in underwater land 你在水底世界得說波嚕嚕嚕嚕
In underwater land, in underwater land 在水底世界，在水底世界
you’ll have an underwater bowl for your raisin bread 你會有可以裝葡萄乾麵包的水底碗
when you have your breakfast in underwater land 當你在水底世界要吃早餐的時候
you’ll sleep in an oyster bed 你會睡在牡蠣床上
with a live turtle pillow for your head 用活生生的烏龜當枕頭
but there ain’t no buses or taxi cabs 不過那裡沒有公車也沒有計程車
you got to ride mussels or taxi crabs 你得搭乘貽貝或是螃蟹計程車
now when you’re crossing the street to the park 你過馬路要去公園的時候
you better look both ways for the shark 最好注意左右有沒有鯊魚正在過來
and you got the whole fins cause you can’t hold hands 你只能牽鰭因為你沒辦法牽手
especially with a lobster in underwater land 尤其是跟海底世界的龍蝦
there’s underwater baseball to play可以玩水底世界棒球
but the ball keeps floating away可是球會一直漂走
and it’s hard to keep garbage down in the can 讓垃圾維持在垃圾桶裡很難
it keeps floating through the ceiling in underwater land 垃圾一直漂到水底世界的天花板
and the needle fish will do all you need 針魚會滿足你所有的需要
for a pet you’ll have a catfish kitten 要養寵物你可以養鯰魚寶寶
and there’ll be a cow fish close at hand if you want a glass of milk in underwater land
如果你在水底世界想喝瓶牛奶，牛魚（角箱魨）就在附近
In underwater land, in underwater land 在水底世界，在水底世界
hold your breath and hold my hand 屏住呼吸，牽著我的手
we’ll splash along together in underwater land 我們會在水底世界一起戲水
and the lobster gets trombone out 龍蝦拿出長號
here the two another trumpet by the trout 鱒魚還有兩把小號
and the carp plays a harp and the crab clap hands 鯉魚彈琴，螃蟹拍手
and now you’re gonna hear the underwater band 現在你即將聽到水底世界樂隊
you dance across the sand to the underwater music of the underwater band 你隨著水底世界樂隊的水底音樂在沙灘上跳舞
so just grow the tail and fins 所以長出尾巴和鰭吧
grow some bright and shiny scales on your skin 在你的身上長出亮色有光澤的鱗片
and we’ll swim down through that magical sand 我們會游過那神奇沙灘
way down deep in underwater land 一路探進到水底世界
where you can shout with the trout 在那裡你可以跟鱒魚一起大叫
ride a bike with the pike 跟狗魚一起騎腳踏車
play a harp with the carp 跟鯉魚一起彈奏豎琴
eat your beans with sardines 跟沙丁魚一起吃你的豆子
eat your meals with the seals 和海豹一起用餐
go to church with the perch 和鱸魚一起上教堂
do stunts with the grunts 和石鱸一起玩特技
do a sail with the snail 和蝸牛一起航行
have dinners with the minnows 與小魚共進晚餐
go golfing with the dolphin 和海豚一起打高爾夫球
play hooky with the Snooky 鋸蓋魚一起逃學
get sloppy with the crappie 和小翻車魚一起懶散馬虎
and have more fun than you ever planned in underwater land 並在水底世界得到比你計畫更多的樂趣
延伸閱讀：
【韻文詩句練語感】千金A超愛英文詩：謝爾‧希爾弗斯坦的「SICK 生病」